I BASE MY HAPPINESS ON MY CATS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS:

1) Life is hard, then you nap.

2) Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.

3) When in doubt, cop an attitude.

4) Variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.

5) Climb your way to the top–that’s why drapes are there.

6) Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone’s face.

7) Find your place in the sun–especially if it happens to be on that nice pile of warm, clean laundry.

8) When eating out think nothing of sending back your meal twenty or thirty times

9) If you’re not receiving enough attention, try knocking over several expensive antique lamps.

10) Never ask how someone is doing.